The Real Scoop About Pixies

by Mario Milosevic

The fairies are not polite beings.

Most people don't know this,

but when they want some of your hair

or bits of your fingernails, they don't wait

for you to trim them from your body.

No, they come right into the house

and without so much as a hello

or an excuse me please, they set to work

pulling off what they want

for their spells and such.

I wouldn't mind so much except

they also don't pay much attention

to the amount of pain they inflict

during their removal operations.

They'll yank at your eyebrows

(they really like those hairs,

no one knows why) like they are

gold ingots and kick you

in the eyeball if you dare to

question their motives or their methods.

If they have any kind of sharp implement

it is invariably in poor maintenance,

rusty and dull, never up to the job at hand.

On top of it all, none of them

ever says thank you or leaves

any kind of gift or offering.

But if you should ever forget

to put out a plate for them,

my, my, the fuss that ensues

is not to be witnessed by those

at all offended by harsh language.

If you want to know the truth

I don't even think they are all that cute.

Or sprightly. Freeloaders, every one

of them, living on the world’s good graces

because we think they live an enchanted life.

About as enchanting as rats, if you ask me.

Me, with shorn brows, and fingernails pared

to the quick. Me, wondering if maybe,

just maybe, they are punishment for some

transgression I've long since forgotten.